Love does not always bring serene joy and happiness. Sometimes they interfere with us … Our ideal ideas about her. The coach, advising couples with the most confusing relations, is sure: we all have to accept cruel truths about relationships in order to meet true love.
I am by nature an optimist and therefore I am optimistic at love, relationships and enormous opportunities that the world gives us, allowing us to find the most suitable partner.
However, when we sit down with customers and begin to think why something went wrong, it turns out that there are obstacles along this path. The whims of love and its inconstancy, our ideal ideas about it and those cruel truths about the relations that have to be accepted.
If we could only know how to hack the code and gain access to a healthy and happy relationship, we would have done it a long time ago. But again and again, couples come to me with the most confusing relationships. Experiencing hellish torment, they understand that in some cases their love cannot be resurrected. We conduct "Parsing flights" post -fact.
So, here are 21 cruel truth about the relationship that we have to accept in order to find true love.
1. Do not wait for you to be allowed. Let your partner leave if it hurts too much. Back down if love is not enough. Act if a gut tells you. Do not wait for the best time to come or the best financial situation comes. Act now.
2. The next bus leaves after 5 minutes. Translation: If you were honest with a partner, and he turned out to be wrong or treated you wrong – send him to hell and move on. There is a lot of love and other people who are waiting for you on the planet. Look at this world differently. Stop thinking that something is always missing in it! Think better about how many things exists in excess.
3. No one can make you happy except yourself – this is another lie. Of course, people can make you happy! They can give you such a charge of inspiration, give so much effort! Why are we afraid to admit it? This roll in the direction of self -sufficiency is not needed, you need a balance.
I do not propose to be vampirically dependent, but other people can really bring joy. Just let them do it
4. You can love someone, even if you have not yet loved yourself. It will be more difficult and will require efforts from both of you, but you can do it. Work to create love and trust in relationships, and do not close from life.
5. Stop scolding your former partner. Every https://globalpharmacy24.com/drug/cenforce time you again “create” him with the help of your words, you seem to let his ghost into the room. You again invite this person to your life – just as they invited him when they created his image with his love. You fill this ghost with your energy. Love and hatred – two sides of one coin.
6. The French say that In every relationship there is “one who kisses” and “the one who is kissed”. These roles can move from one partner to another, you can change them over time. Or in some relationships you will be “those who kiss”, and in others – on the contrary. But remember: in a healthy relationship, if you sometimes give in to your partner’s desires, you yourself get more.
7. Sometimes people leave our lives only so that we finally pay attention to ourselves. This is remarkably stated in the bestseller Elizabeth Gilbert: “But I love him” – “Well, love him so”. "But I miss him" – "So miss. Send him a little love every time you think about him, and then let him go. You are afraid to leave the last pieces of David, because then you will be really alone.
The problem is that you cannot understand that these relations had a short life. His goal was to shake you, get out of an unhappy marriage, wound your ego a little, show everything that restrains you, all your obstacles and addictions, and then leave you in such despair, so that you have to change, transform your life. Such people come so that we finally pay attention to ourselves ".
8. Throughout your life you may have some big loves and serious relationships.
9. I worked with pairs after betrayal, with those who had problems with money, lack of sex, bad communication skills and jealousy. And all these problems were sucked out of the relationship, but they were not Dealbreakers – "a decisive condition for terminating the transaction". Most of these problems could work. Relations killer No. 1, in my experience of counseling, is to offend the one who asked you for help.
10. Do not try to marry someone when you are still in love with another.
11. The most attractive for us are those who simultaneously resemble mother and father. This filter lies deep in the unconscious. All we want is to be happy. But the unconscious wants us healing from those children’s wounds that once left us in bewilderment. And at the stage when we choose a person – at the stage of romantic love – just unconscious acts. And it chooses for us the partner who will help our growth will make it possible to heal. Sometimes such relationships can be very painful.
12. Remember that this divine, amazing, sparkling like a comet is given to you. And only you are authorized to decide how to conduct it. You are free.
13. Sometimes the only meaning that you once turned out to be together is to bring your beautiful child to this world! It took me ten years of our ex -husband to work on myself, forgiveness and active communication to get to this idea.
14. He is attractive, he has a good job, wonderful parents who like you. He will become a wonderful father. But he is often depressed, removed and does not understand how wonderful he is.
She is very sweet, sexy, understands that you need personal space and communication with friends. She brings joy to your life. But she asks you about former girls, often talks about traitors and will rather complain that she lacks confidence than to do something about it.
The lack of self -esteem in any of the partners will come to nullify, Even if they have great potential.
15. The partner is also worried that he broke up with you – but not so and, perhaps, for other reasons. How can it be? You divided everything together, went through a lot, it also hurts him, like you, because it is?
Do not flatter up those who know how to admit their mistakes. Trust those who act and are responsible for their actions
This may be your first clash with harsh reality, but what happened to you both leaves different memories and does not guarantee anything.
16. Love and partnership can take different forms. You can live a wonderful life with the one in whom you did not see a soul mate at first.
17. Some people can endure a lot in relations, because they think that they prove their love and devotion. But in fact, they endure it, because they are too attached to a person, they are afraid to stay alone or committed to the idea that they are rescuers and heroes. If it’s you, I have a message for you: love is felt differently.
18. Love someone, not to be in love – That’s the whole thing. If you want to meet true love, you need to decide if you are able to.
19. Do not flatter those who know how to admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Nobody needs a constant parade of regrets and the words "Forgive me". Trust those who act and are responsible for their actions.
20. My grandmother said: ""Spend 4 seasons with a person and then say that you know him. And definitely postpone the conversation about the wedding for the year ". Of course, I did not listen to both of these advice. And – I’m sorry, grandmother, you were right!
21. The period of loneliness must be endured. This will be the best gift for yourself if you abandon medicines in the form of alcohol, Internet or workaholism. So your inner voice will become clearer, faith in yourself – deeper, and (temporary!) the absence of another person nearby will make it possible to see what a strong and beautiful person you are actually!
